4. Good Grief
What's the first thing I did after I won a million dollars?
I didn't tell anyone for over 3 months.
I signed a binding gag order to protect the results of the show. My parents, Joseph and Theresa, claim to have 'figured it out' (how convenient). Also, NBC ran an ad saying me or my female counterpart won a million. She lost first, so I was a lock to any attentive viewer.
The people at the party I threw were surprised when I won. Probably the coolest moment of my whole experience was when I was getting condolences for getting the Christmas question wrong, and trying to remain perfectly still, and then taking a bow when the TV told them what I already knew.
I am still in the process of giving over 420,000 dollars to the Federal Government (Richard Hatch doesn't need a cell yet, mate).
I've been getting recognized more and more, which is nice, in its way. Getting stared at is kind of weird though. I always think my fly is unzipped, especially when it is.
5. Accept it, Already!
Yeah, wealth is a hard thing to take. The other day, I was driving my gold covered yacht down the freeway, as it was being pulled by an army of trained Bengal Tigers. One Bengal Tiger turned to the other one and said "Have you heard the one about this chicken, who didn't want to cross the road?" And the other Bengal Tiger said "Holy Crap, a talking Bengal Tiger!"
Here's what I bought with my money:
- A new mini-cooper
That's it so far. I look forward to finishing my undergrad at UCI in 2009, and going to Columbia/Irvine to get an MFA in Fiction after that. I am writer (hear me roar about my novel), screenwriter on top of that. If this article doesn't convince you that I write good scripts, I don't know what will.
Oh, a script. Right....
6. One More Thing
I cannot believe I am still single!
A common misconception is that I don't like being stalked. I like stalks of all kinds. Stalks of corn, celery stalks... What's that? What does stalked mean? Oh.
7. And While I'm Here
My birthday is 7/7/86, so hopefully you understand why 7 is such an important number to me.
Me and Bob Saget would like to thank NBC for canceling 1 vs. 100. Maybe we can come back as a team on Celebrity Family Feud.
I guess this article is over.
I guest write.
You can visit Jason at his official blog.
